Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
