Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize