Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
