At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
