I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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