who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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