I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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