Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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