My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We had sex on a dog bed..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
