upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Do vagina's smell?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
