Ketchup is God's man juice
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
