he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
