3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
