Swine flu. Run for my life!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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