They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
