It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
