I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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