I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
