somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
