Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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