Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
As shirtless as possible
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize