Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
