Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
