Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
