sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The uberlube is also flammable
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
