Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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