is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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