My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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