awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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