It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
