Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
