We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
