You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
