i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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