On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
