he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
