physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
