I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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