I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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