youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
