I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
