My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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