Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it's great music for shaving your balls
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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