I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
