coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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