then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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