We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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