Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
