I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
40s are totally the cure
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
