last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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