The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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