i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
