Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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