Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
