I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
