I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
