Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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