I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
