why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
