I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
