Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
