Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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