What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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