Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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