You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
