Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
